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February 7, 2005

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Dale, who writes the comics.

Snatching you from a Hopeless Abyss Emergency Valentines Day Advice Column

It's time to open up the mail bin gain. The storage site has been flooded, so most your recent letters have experienced severe water damage. However, I managed to save a few hundred by baking them on a warm surface and opening them delicately.


Have you ever fought a villain of PURE ELECTRICITY? And, if so, what did you do?

knots loosening,

Trapped in the Basement

Dear TITB,

Electricity's natural enemy is water. Have you tried letting the creature feed on the high voltage power lines until it grows immense, and then luring it in to the nearby bay, or reservoir?

best of luck,


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David, who draws the comics.

Le Bowl Définitif

Just got back from the Super Bowl.

You probably heard about how I won. It was pretty awesome. Now I have to write a poem for poetry class. Like twenty art students are going to analyze it tomorrow at 1 pm. Here's what I have so far:

Garden gnomes
In charming homes
Progressing without witness
Peace have found
But whimsey drowned
Also, physical fitness

It's pretty edgy stuff, but I can't bottle up the truth.


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(c) David Hellman and Dale Beran 2005