The ice queen zaps you from her fortress
now you are a frozen block of ice

The crashing wave of ALILBTDII is now unstoppable as it pushes its way through the devastated cities of the internet. Just in time episode three has arrived to calm the storm of desperate need which has inflicted its ALILBTDII-addicted populace. And thanks for coming back, as you may have noticed, things are looking better and better here everyday and are ascending in a crescendo bent up to super-cool, which lies above paradise on the moon. I'll invite you to check out our new bios page. Since we haven't really been pushing
the site yet, chances are that if you're reading the bios page you're listed on the bios page! My day has been spent in the dryer. Tumbling around in the hot air, I've been sorting through the articles of my life. All my clothes are unclean. The unbearable humidity! It is an unhappy grey cloud. I've been looking through my recent correspondences, and realize I never answer my mail.

DALE READS MAIL
or
Dale Answers from your Letters

Dear Dale, Is my life predetermined or is there such a thing as free will? luv the site! Cathy Gaithersburg, MD

No, you are doomed to make the same mistakes. Your solipsistic suspicions are correct; and once your life ends, things will reset and you will emerge from your mother's vagina having forgotten everything.

Dear Dale, This site is sweeter than the royal jelly of the queen bee! I was wondering, does media, in its relentless attempt to tug at all of my emotions and most intimate feelings, flatten my heart to a numbing drone, or ultimately make my experience richer with its strange, yet unsettling variation? Rick North Point, AK

Dear Rick,

You are now just a piece of corporate trash, a plastic bag blown across the grocery store parking lot, pushed by winds of petty fancy. Once you were a mighty warrior who breathed the intoxication of fresh strong air, drank straight from streams, and felt the raw pangs of love and pain undiluted by the insecurities of the chiselers trying to sell you a hot dog, a soda, and a lipstick colored car.
Though the cathartic exercise of drama and art fills a yawning gap in our existence with its own inconsistencies, it wobbles between manipulation and escape. Not all tunnels lead out! As Nietzsche says, "Will the all-encompassing net of art be woven ever more tightly and delicately? Or will it be torn to shreds by the restless and barbaric activities of our day?" We know now this is a naive division illuminated by the glow of so many screens at once. We have to wear sun glasses out doors all the time.
Look, we, ALILBTDII, are pressing a gold coin into your hot hand. Don't worry! Don't spend it, but put it in a pocket where you know it will be safe!

Your friend always,

Dale

Dear Dale-chan, What is your favorite old skool NES game? Ayumi, Kyoto, Japan

Ayumi,

bubble bobble, my favorite game
you are two dinosaurs
who eat bubbles
on many levels

heart!
dale

Dale, man, Where can I score some drugs? Mitch , LA, Calif

Mitch, my man,

In our forums apparently!

-DB

Dear FBI,

I am kidding. Do not come to my house and arrest me. Jesus Christ, prison would be unbearable. Are you allowed plants in there?

Good-Citizen #1,
Dale

Dear Dale, You are not allowed plants. Often our inmates weep. There are long questioning sessions. If you wish, you may turn up the radio very loud if you want to have a private conversation in your home which is bugged. Keep a clean nose, Dumptruck! the FBI

That's all from the mailbag this week, kids!

If you want a question answered, contact me at

Dale out!

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