archive current

Part Two: Deadly Dalliance

previous archive
freebies tile comics
about us


We have joined Dayfree Press! What does this mean to our loyal readership? Nothing more than identification wristbands and white contact lenses.

Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics and Nick Gurewitch of The Perry Bible Fellowship have contributed scripts to TILE COMICS.

Some new portraits have been added to the Patrons Gallery. Thanks to the magnanimous souls who contributed!


David collaborated with Ryan North on a whispered apology.

The 2005 WebCartoonist Choice Awards selected us for Best Layout.

David and Dale were at the 2005 Mocca Art Festival in NYC June 10 and 11th.

Dale has written a review for Mcsweeney’s in their Reviews of New Food section.

Interviewed by Xenex.org, David and Dale reveal their true ugly natures.

Dale has contributed to Ryan North's collaborative web comic project, Whispered Apologies.

Christopher B. Dino has kindly reviewed our comic in his blog, Totally Jawesome.

Here A Lesson Is Learned is discussed in a lively debate over conceptual webcomics.


There is a review of A Lesson Is Learned in The Webcomics Examiner.


Archaic creature climbs out of primordial ooze. Dreams of new life for disgusting ooze covered family.

View all Announcements ...



Dale, who writes the comics.

How to Pick Up Girls on the Astral Plane

By Master Forest Monk Dale Beran

One: Read to them.

Read to them about mock trials in which you are the victim.

Two: Eat all the time.

Slowly devour vegetables everyday. No pork, dairy.

Three: Sever your connections with girls you once knew or met on the tangible plane.

They can only make you unhappy and drag down future benevolent romances.

Four: If you meet a thought-manifestation on the astral plane, and she seems nice, restrain yourself from grabbing hold of her immediately and pecking her on the cheek.

They don't like this. They respond to whispered praise. Get close enough to do this. They feed on their own pale ethereal form. Tell them it is opalescent and you can see the gems embedded inside them glinting. Do not reach inside to grab those gems, however close they may seem to the surface.

Five: Never remain a friend too long.

This is a grave mistake even the pros make. Remember, if the conversation does not grow very heated, gleam with all the blue sparkles in your no-mind.

Six: Ask for her phone number in the sensual world.

I know this is not for everybody and forms differ highly from what one perceives on the astral plane. But still if you get her phone number in the sensual world, even if she died years ago, there is still the possibility that she is ready to talk to you even if it means revealing her true self.

Seven: Never Slumber.

Sleeping is the mistake that most people make. This weakens the resolution of the third eye. It waters. This action keeps it desperately dry and thirsty for sight of the ordinary world. If you have difficulty leaving this perceptual system at all, try climbing atop a tall, exposed place in inclement weather. Strip off your clothing in shreds. Cover yourself in grasses and mud. Make a vow to stop breathing. You will reach the astral plane shortly.

Comment / Read Comments

David, who draws the comics.

Please Take Us Seriously

HA! And you guys thought "to be continued" was just an empty threat. Now when have we ever lead you astray?

Have you been reading Tile Comics? Now in TECHNICOLOR. Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics and Nick Gurewitch of The Perry Bible Fellowship have contributed scripts!

- David

Comment / Read Comments


(c) David Hellman and Dale Beran 2005