The truth about the Jamaican Honey Bee Squirrel
I hope you enjoy the new episode. As of late, I've gotten a lot of
questions about the JBS, and I hope I can answer some below.
Is there really such a thing as the Jamaican Honey Bee Squirrel?
Yes, he does exist. Descended from a great white choc-o-dile, he
mates by entering the hatchery with a stolen keycard. He is
supposedly able to blind his enemies by wish alone. His belly is made
of grass. A notorious lazybones, he watches tv but does not know it
is not real.
Can I order one?
No, I'm afraid they're protected by my insecure love.
Can I find one in the wild?
Chances are slim. In 1986, a JBS crashed his corvette into a
supermarket in northern California. Subsequently, he was recovered
from the curb weeping in to his pack of cigarettes, but soon slipped
the bread ties EMS jury-rigged as crude restraints, and made his way
to a rope of gauze, ultimately escaping on the back of a pigeon.
What is the JBS's sexual orientation?
The JBSs host communal "love-ins" or "hippie-style" inversion
throw-back jamfests, in which it's been rumored, anything goes.
How does the JBS taste?
They taste delicious.